sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
