i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
