Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
return my video game
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
