Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
