it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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