We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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