You can't special order awesome
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
