hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
