So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I enjoy the company of your penis
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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