she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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