Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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