It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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