But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize