I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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