How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
