I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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