I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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