She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
