Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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