She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
