I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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