you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
