I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
