I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
