he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
God I need to hump something, right now.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
