Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
if i can run in heels then i can drive
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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