After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
