It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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