you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
