Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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