I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
