You made me cry and you don't even care
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
