For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
