you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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