Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
