woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
