420 ftw
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i think i just lost a toe
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
