i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
