If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
