This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
