I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
