....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
