what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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