A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Randomize
