Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
