So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
