I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
