you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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