The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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