it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
